Cricket - It's a funny old game

Cricket - It's a funny old game

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Beige Archives: "Richards ahead of Sehwag" - says dictionary

This article first appeared on on the 17th of December 2009.

The current debate as to whether India’s Virender Sehwag is better than former West Indian player Viv Richards came to a sudden halt today when a spokesperson for the Oxford English Dictionary revealed that, according to the current alphabet, Richards is indeed ahead of Sehwag.

“A lot of people have brought up strike rate, or batting average, or intangible factors such as ‘wow factor’, ‘destructive capabilities’ and such like, but alphabetical order is irrefutable.” said OED chief editor John Simpson. “Richards is about 11,453 places above Sehwag in fact. Fairly conclusive if you ask me”.

Supporters of Richards welcomed the news saying that “common sense has prevailed” and that “everyone can now go back to arguing about Ponting and Tendulkar”.

Whilst most Sehwag fans have accepted the result in good grace and have conceded defeat, a small group of Fundamental Sehwagologists refuse to surrender and have locked themselves up in an armed compound in Texas.

The ICC's military division has declared that they intend to neutralise the resistance by dropping 10,000 copies of the dictionary on the site, all of which will have the two cricketers' names highlighted in yellow. This action was hailed as the most useful thing the ICC have done in a decade.

After the OED ruling was announced, former Australian batsman Mark Waugh was heard to say “Alphabetical ordering? Just wait til I tell Steve”.

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